2 More Weekends. 1 and Half More Weeks

The anticipation. The constant feeling, touching and looking at my face. "Is it drooping?" "Is it tingling?" "Do both sides feel the same?" "Please God don't grow and push against something in this short little time I wait to begin radiation." The jokes. The feelings of this is all going to be okay. The countdown. The anticipation.
These are just a few of the thoughts that conquer my thought process everyday. The wait to begin a procedure or have a surgery is just taxing on someone. You just want to get it over with. Feel normal again. My husband has played this game before with me. And you can tell. The minute I begin touching my face. He stops everything looks at me and says "Honey it is going to be okay. We are almost there." Today on Valentine's Day I am so happy to have him and celebrate with him. It makes me forget the sickness, the fear and the anticipation.
I got a letter the other day that was just kind of like a slap in the face. You have been denied life insurance due to.....acoustic neuroma. No matter how much better I feel or how long the beast lays dormant in life, I will never qualify for a life insurance policy that requires a medical background check. This broke my spirit just reading it. I am 29. If something happens to me, my husband and daughter will not be left with much. And no matter how healthy or what ever good news I receive in the future, I will always be too sick and risky for life insurance. Talk about something I never would have dreamed about having to face before I am thirty.
I have 2 more weekends. One and a half more weeks till treatment time.
Hold your loved ones close today. You never know how fast something can change and alter your path in life. You forget how much the little things matter.

My amazing mask for radiation

It was hot plastic that they lay on your face and you have to stay still for 25 minutes while it sets. I wish this process upon no one.

Autumn's Valentine's Day gifts to her Grandmas