Momtastic Wardrobe

My momtastic wardrobe has changed in the last few years. This week I broke out and put on my one piece swimsuit. That is right I am going to be rocking the one piece this year. I made this decision because I will be doing a lot more bending and lifting than years prior to the toddler stage of Autumn's life. In order to ensure that my neighbors do not see the crack of doom all afternoon, I decided to just wrap up the whole body.  Now I hate my legs. This is a known fact to everyone that knows me. And I must admit, I feel as if the one piece draws more attention to the cellulite pretties that I have come to accept as being my thighs. We all have things we are insecure about and this is mine. Oh well time to go swimming! Now we just need to get the Kansas weather on board with this plan.

 My hot one piece!

It is becoming more and more a discouragement when I go shopping for clothes. I recently also purchased a pair of pink mom capris. After seeing multiple post online about how capris can be a super fashion no no. I laugh because they are comfy and I have never been exactly a fashion diva, so judge all you want ladies. 
The store I feel has either what my friend Lindsay refers to as "golden girl" clothes or juniors. Some of the juniors clothes, I feel are a bit revealing and inappropriate for someone's mother to wear. Hints I am in a rut when it comes to dressing myself. Oh well I have more fun dressing Autumn anyways.
Now for some cute Autumn photos!

 Our new favorite thing to do is walk the dog. The dog being Dani because Jack won't let her.

New water table that Grandma Bender got us. Hours of fun!

I love this photo of her!

Unleashing the Mommy Leash

A difficult thing for me to let loose is the mommy leash.
The Mommy Leash- a natural instinct that all mom's possess, being attached physically by your child's side to prevent harm from outside sources.
Autumn is starting to enjoy exploring the outside. We go on walks and she points at things asking "what's that?". The park has become our new best friend. It has become a magical wonderland of slides and stairs that allows for my child to run herself exhausted going into a beautiful nap of fairies and unicorns, I am sure, creating time for mom to enjoy....the couch. That is right when the child naps, my feet go up and I relax. I should be cleaning or doing something productive, but I figure before I go back to school this fall, I need to enjoy my peace and quiet.

When we first would go to the park I would hold Autumn's hand and walk up the stairs with her. Go down every slide with her. Unless I was at the bottom, lifting her up to the top of the slide.  Then I let loose of the mommy leash. I let her walk up the stairs by herself and go down the slide and land by herself. She is a natural pro. Baby is getting so big and is not really a baby anymore :( Now I have to mention this park we were at, was built for little ones, like 3 and under. Not all parks are this friendly for toddlers and that mom leash is like a warrior that doesn't stop the battle. It kicks into full effect when danger could be present.

Olivia, my friend Lindsay's daughter, teaching Autumn how to go down the slide by herself.

 Lily, my friend Lindsay's other daughter, and Autumn going up and down the slides.

 We had a big event happen this week. Fred's youngest sister, Tina, graduated from KU. It was a good time and Autumn behaved to the best of her ability. She did at one point cry hugging a box of Cheez-its. But hey there are times in life where I have done the same so I won't blame the girl, those crackers are amazing.

 Tina's graduation party. Storm graduated as well from KU, my soon to be brother-in-law.



All that plays in my head over and over again this week is "Changes" by David Bowie. And as that T-mobile commercial best portrays it, I sing the lyrics a little wrong. "Changes time to face the strange" is how I take it. Strange instead of strain. This week I will be purchasing..........wait for it...........a training potty. I probably won't break it out yet. But going to get her used to seeing it hang around. Oh how I love my big girl and her never ending changes.

                                      Except we still love My Little Pony. That is not changing.
  

Somethings We Just Need to.....Accept

There is a evil monster that haunts our everyday life, and it's name is eczema. I am just going to say it, "I HATE ECZEMA".

Eczema patches on Autumn's legs and cheek. They photograph much better than they looked in person.

May 2012

 

To give you a little history of my struggle with this red rash beast we have to go back to January of 2012. Autumn was 4 months old and all of a sudden there it was. This rash has always bothered me more than Autumn. I took her to the doctor multiple times and the funny thing about rashes, it seems to be a guessing game mainly. Where did this come from? Why is it there? What did you change? I changed nothing. Well you had to be doing something different? No. Well now you will be, because we want you to test all sorts of different moisturizers on your child's skin. Some will burn her. Some will make it worse. Some will make it better. Some will make her skin like the texture of sand paper. But out of love, you have to experiment on your child. Wish we had a better answer. Thank you, now please pay your medical bill ;)

Eczema on the left cheek. Autumn hated baths for the longest time. I think they burned.

There are many times as a mother where I feel like " oh my gosh this is my fault I should have protected you better". But nothing and I mean nothing makes me feel more terrible than putting a lotion on my child that causes more harm than good. I feel like, I did that to you. But how is one to know what to use on their child. Every child is so different. Which makes the eczema beast so much more frustrating. Something that works for one family does not work for the other. Even doctors are confused about this one. Some say bath daily. Some say bath every other day. Some even suggest bleach baths?
Everyone has their own personal medical journey. Our bodies are our bodies. I have come to accept this fact of life. Autumn is just a rashy kid. I wish I could change it. I wish people didn't judge and think "there is more that they can do for that child". I do everything I can and somethings we just don't have the answer.
I have had a personal struggle with this recently. Thinking of myself. I get so paranoid about all the possibilities of things that can happen to you. Life is so unpredictable. Especially with your health. This was overwhelming my mind. I have mentioned this in a early blog, but I have not updated everyone with the fact that I was seriously freaking myself out over seasonal allergies, and Claritin was the answer. Something as simple as that, consumed my life for over a week and did not allow me to enjoy life. Therefore I spoke to the doctor and started anti anxiety medication. I was scared at first and felt weak. Weak that I could not push myself past this way of thinking. But we all need to accept help sometimes and I am happy to say that I am doing much better.

Autumn and I at lunch. May 2013

Just like I can not control or dwell on the health of my body. I can not control Autumn's body, and let a rash take over our day. I will continue to try and make it as comfortable and contained for her as humanly possible. But not everything has a simple answer. We are all built different. And sometimes those difference are not ideal. But it is time to accept and enjoy the day!  

How can that smile not help you enjoy your day?!

Maaa-ME

It is so strange to think of Autumn as being a big girl. She now tells me when it is time for her nap. Not saying it exactly, yet coming up to me with a blanket and laying down right in front of me. Then when I ask her if it is time for a nap, she heads towards the bed. Her ability to understand what I am asking her to do has increased significantly in the last couple of days.

I think sometimes my child likes to play mind games on me. Wait, sorry, I know my child likes to play mind games on me. A example of this recently has been not saying the word "mom". It is almost mother's day, and all I would like from my child is to just hear her say "mom". Apparently she says "mom" when I am not home. So yesterday, while sharing a flavor ice together, I kept pointing at myself and saying "ma-ma" "maaaa-ma". She looked at me and all of a sudden "mama" "MAMA" mommy" "ma""ma". It just kept coming. She was bobbing her head up and down while saying it and I was just smiles. Made my day!

 Being a "Big Girl" and drinking her milk out of a mug like Mom does with her coffee in the morning.

My little girl is getting so big. She is so small in so many ways though. I love watching her grow. And I love comparing pictures of her over the last year. My family has a little bit of a camera addiction. My brother and mother having this problem more than me. However, with Autumn, and how fast she grows, I love their addiction.

April 15th 2012 Autumn's Baptism when she first got Norman the sock monkey

May 10th 2013 a little more than a year later and look how big we are

Nebraska- The Good Life

We had a fun road trip this weekend to see our relatives in Omaha. Having Autumn in a car for a extended period of time is not as easy as it used to be. It is a fun battle of driving a car, while passing different books or toys to her in the back seat so she doesn't get bored and scream like a banshee. Omaha is the perfect distance for a road trip, 3 hours. We did great except for the final 30 minutes.

 Autumn playing in the car on the way to Omaha

As a mother we sometimes overlook things. It is natural. I am so busy with making sure Autumn doesn't hurt herself, cleaning the house, preparing meals, making sure the dogs don't die, working, keeping up with eczema, and so on. Sometimes I don't think about adding new routines to this schedule we got going on. But as Autumn grows older, she needs to learn new tasks. My cousin takes her daughter to wash her hands and brush her teeth after eating. Simple, right? I never thought about doing this. It is good to spend time with other mommies because little things they do work, and I never think about it. Well enough about my rant on with our trip.

Autumn loves her cousin, Emelyn, they were so cute together. We had a dance party. One of my favorite moments was when Emelyn sat on a riding toy and Autumn pushed her around. Then they would both grab a toy with a string and run around with theses pull toys.  Livia, Emelyn's little sister, is still too young to join in on the craziness that being toddler is all about, but I think she enjoyed watching them. Livia definitely enjoyed my monkey slippers.

 Autumn and Emelyn playing in Emelyn's new swing set

 The girls loved playing in the playhouse

Autumn and Emelyn with Great Grandma on Emelyn's first birthday. Look how much they have grown.

I made Emelyn's birthday cake. A lady bug cake which Emelyn called "buggie cake". It is so fun to make shaped cakes for children. They love them! I have already decided I am going to make Autumn a My Little Pony cake for her 2nd birthday.

Buggie Cake

I also got to meet for the first time the other newest member of our family, Christopher. He was such a little sweetie. Brought back memories of walking the hallways with Autumn as a newborn trying to comfort her. Newborns are a different kind of hard. Toddlers are more of the chasing around kind of hard. I think he liked me too though.

 Baby Chris hanging with me

It was a great weekend. We were missing a couple of other little family members that will be joining us for a get together in June, Kasiah and Liam, my cousin Katie's kids. It will be so fun to see everyone together and I will get to meet Liam for the first time.

Last year was the last time all the Lastovica babies were together, Kasiah, Autumn, and Emelyn. In a year the amount of babies has doubled. This year we will have 3 more members Livia, Liam, and Chris to add to the fun.

Now since my family is the only ones that live in Kansas we have a ongoing joke that is the title of this blog. When moving to Kansas, my mom was pretty upset because everyone is in Omaha and she grew up there. This joke, "the good life is in the rear view mirror" we all say everytime we go home back to Kansas.